Navigate seasonal comparison ...

Despite it being the season of joy according to the going narrative, the festive season can be everything but that for some people. In fact it can feel a stressful, triggering, lonely, intense, a time of pressure and generally a time that feels too much. Over all it can be a time of a lot of expectation and the hardest thing for people is that it’s everywhere.

This being said I love this time of year in all of the ways, but I felt it was important to write about this as I know its a thing. I want people to feel good and reclaim their power around something no matter what they feel about a particular time. I also believe in sharing all the sides of things and finding positive ways, that bring ease which means relief can be found for all.

Firstly, if you don’t like the season own that and get comfortable in that space, rather than having a bah humbug attitude focus on what works for you and what feel good for you. There’s no right or wrong here, and it’s more than ok to be different.

Comparison is often a biggy this season because more often than not it highlights for people what they don’t have. We can get carried away especially via social media about all the things we should be doing, or how amazing we perceive other peoples lives are. Turn down the social media triggers if it’s not helping, its also worth remembering things aren’t always what they seem too despite a shiny snap shot or video, remember these things can be deceiving.

Get clear on what your comparison triggers are.

Reclaiming your power around this is easier said than done especially if things are tough, I suggest starting small with focusing on the things you feel grateful for.

If you're going through a grief process or breakup or any form of challenging loss this time of year can feel less than ideal.

What I witness here is your having a tough time or it doesn’t feel good, don't bypass your feelings. Honour them and feel them, explore the emotions and triggers that are underneath them, obviously do what you're comfortable with. If you have a safe outlet/person to talk to share what you’re feeling do so with them.

For some people, processes such as journaling can be helpful, however like all things I recognise this isn’t for everyone. Bottom line is find the things that work for you.

A big thing for people is the pressure and expectations around the season, this is tough especially if you have children or even family expectations. They key here is to reclaim your power and boundaries, once you’ve honoured your feelings around this, figure out what will work for you, and with this you can make things feel good for you.

Ask yourself these questions.

How can you turn down the pressure?

Where is the expectation coming from?

Figuring these things out can be confronting but helpful.

A friend of mine was experiencing this and she share that she wrote out how she wanted things to be and this helped her get clarity.

The most important thing here like I said at the top, is remembering we all feel differently about things and thats ok.

If you know someone in your life is having a tough time, be kind to them.

Kindness is key this season, and giving comes in all forms including understanding and compassion.

I hope this is helpful, and if you’re like me don’t feel bad if you love this season that’s important too. I’m knee deep in Christmas jumpers and all the festive things and loving it.

Make your season the perfect one for you what ever that looks like, this is how we find grace.

Sending good wishes to all.

All my love

Hannah X

Ps If you need a blog post about navigating the busyness of this season and finding peace check out the previous one here. https://www.hannah-wallace.com/blog/finding-peace-in-busy-times-