The magic of vulnerability ....

I don’t know about you but being vulnerable can be a challenging thing and this is something I have really worked on over the years and still am to be honest. I know it’s helped me even when it’s felt like a scary thing to do, and in a way it has made me feel stronger.

There have been times where I’ve definitely suppressed things down to avoid judgment or perceived judgment and avoided being vulnerable in the process.

I remember feeling so seen after reading Brene Browns book “Daring greatly”, it’s all about vulnerability. If you haven’t read it I highly recommend having a read of it, there’s something in there for everyone.

Often our biggest fear with being vulnerable about something or to someone is being rejected, feeling silly, hurting someone else’s feelings or not being heard properly.

This should never stop us being vulnerable, in fact it’s important that we all try and show up being more vulnerable.

By doing this, we can break down those hard shells that we have placed around ourselves to cope or to feel safe. When we remove this layer, we free ourselves and can be who we truly want to be. It also allows us to feel the feelings that we have often suppressed for a long time that we’ve kept tightly packed up in our protective shell. It allows us to meet perfection and break down its walls, and meet the imperfection there with grace.

I believe before we can show up being more vulnerable to others, we have to get vulnerable with ourselves, which can be challenging at first. From childhood we’ve often stuffed things back down and got on with things and formed patterns to cope going out into the big wide world to fit in.

Men for instance have grown up a lot of the time putting on a tough front not showing their emotions so freely as “thats not what men do” they are told. For women its a little easier but often to fit in with the competitive side of the world even many women stuff things back down and don’t share what they are really feeling.

Fitting in feels safe to do, but it doesn’t always serve us in fact its a balance here of listening to the things you need to listen to and then having discernment with this.

Being vulnerable in truth will look different for everyone as we all have different emotional guidance systems. Getting to understand yourself and how your emotions work is the key and looking at the fears that come up when you’re being called to be more vulnerable.

Often there is an emotion under the fear.

The key question is “What does being vulnerable look and feel like to you?”

Getting clear with this will help and it’s worth noting that this will change with circumstances and adapt with time as we grow and change. Not only that, it can even differ with the people or places that we are being vulnerable to and with, it’s a very multifaceted thing.

The other key question is “where in your life do you need to be more vulnerable?”, only you will know these answers. Being vulnerable is a personal journey, but the more we all show up being vulnerable it actually helps the collective.

For instance encouraging men to be more vulnerable within society means that they can still be masculine but be vulnerable at the same time and this can have a real positive impact on mental well being for instance.

When a high performing person who’s seen as perfect shows up being vulnerable, it encourages others to do so and this filters down. Even in management systems it can be really empowering if people see managers showing some vulnerability, of course this needs to be navigated keeping the right dynamics at play. But it can encourage much better wellbeing in work places.

Teenagers for instance are super impressionable and fear looking uncool with their peers, if vulnerability is trickled down to them, it can guide them more easily into adulthood and help them become a more emotionally available adult.

Within our personal relationships and families, vulnerability can be transformative when its seen and heard in the right ways.

What is clear vulnerability is powerful and good for overall wellness and allows us to grow and transform and by taking part in doing it, for our personal selves and for the outside too.

There’s even data available about how vulnerability has its benefits.

This is a journey and an on going process, one that no matter how good we think we are with it we can still hit walls if we fear judgment could meet us.

What I know is this, being vulnerable allows us to meet ourselves and find grace in our lives and brings us to a space of more inner peace. We start to feel safer in spaces around us and within ourselves where we wouldn’t have felt before, which is always a good thing.

This is a huge topic, and I’d love to hear from you.

Do you struggle with being vulnerable?

Have you felt the benefits of doing it?

What does it mean to you?

All my love

Hannah X